< A Little More About Me ... > Prince Charming

My fairytale looks a lot like a modern day western … horses, cows, goats and dogs, even a wild hog, 4-wheel drive pickup trucks, boots, jeans and Hey Dudes with ballcaps, cowboy hats, Carhartts and camo jackets hanging on the coat rack with saddles scattered around the house and ropes, bits, reins and headstalls hanging on the walls.

There was a king, an evil stepmother and a villain. They were driving the train …

… the one that crashed right smack into my tower.

Had it not, though, I’d probably still be in it.

When it crumbled, I picked the pieces of me out of the rubble, untangled the barbwire from my hair, and fully embodied my anti-princess identity, writing my own happily ever after, in a whole new fairytale.

At the time, I had no idea it would include Prince Charming

I wasn’t even looking, and one day, there he was – and I was ready. My tower crumbled and I had been set free, I healed and was very comfortably me, fully embodying my Anti-Princess Identity™. It didn’t take long and we were hitched.

We’re a little ranchy, so you may see or hear about, from time to time, some of the goings on, ranchy analogies and “what nots”. Everyday, we get to observe in awe, the intricacies and perfection of what God created.

As humans, it can be difficult to see it in ourselves, but watching a young horse get the zoomies, or a mama cow take care of her calf, or when a big, goofy bloodhound kisses you on the nose as to say “thank you” or “I love you too”, it’s pretty amazing.

And, the gratitude we experience for every egg the chickens and ducks lay, for the rain that makes the grass grow for the cows, horses and goats, even though it makes a muddy, mucky mess.

We’re thankful for every life born or hatched on our little piece of heaven, even for the ones who don’t stay very long before heading back there.

Living ranchy teaches us to see the balance between the good, bad, ugly and beautiful, and that there’s always something to be thankful for.

There was a king, an evil stepmother and a villain. They were driving the train …

… the one that crashed right smack into my tower.

Had it not, though, I’d probably still be in it.

When it crumbled, I picked the pieces of me out of the rubble, untangled the barbwire from my hair, and fully embodied the anti-princess, writing my own happily ever after, in a whole new fairytale.

At the time, I had no idea it would include Prince Charming

It didn’t take long and we were hitched.

And, the gratitude we experience for every egg the chickens and ducks lay, for the rain that makes the grass grow for the cows, horses and goats, even though it makes a muddy, mucky mess.

We’re thankful for every life born or hatched on our little piece of heaven, even for the ones who don’t stay very long before heading back there.

Living ranchy teaches us to see the balance between the good, bad, ugly and beautiful, and that there’s always something to be thankful for.

My curiosity tends to cause a ruckus, in realizing that my incessant curiosity was so disruptive, I coined the term “curious disruptor”.

I ask a lot of questions, in wanting to understand and learn how things work ..

… when the “how things work” part doesn’t make sense, I’ve found that in most cases it’s not because I don’t understand, but because something isn’t adding up –

And that’s when I get on the cow’s nose about it, studying and diving into research until I prove or disprove it, or totally deconstruct it, keeping my tools handy to re-invent the wheel.

In my world, this is what we refer to as getting on the cow’s nose about something, getting “on something” and not letting go.

Picture a dog working a cow, and he gets on the cow’s nose.

Not letting it go until the cow get’s where the dog is telling her to go.

That’s what I do, I don’t let go.

When I was little, I had a book called The Way Things Work, I think, in a sense, it programmed me, in wanting to learn how things work, how they’re put together and how to take them apart.

I finally learned to embrace it rather than be shameful of it, shameful of asking questions to learn and understand.

There’s a lot of gas lighting going in the social narrative, and the personal development/coaching space, if you take a step back like I did, you’ll see that things just don’t add up – the narrative does not fit the truth.

I’m not a fan of gas lighting or manipulation, so when I get the “koolaid” vibe – I go after it.

💡 I want to clarify something – when I mention the “mainstream coaching koolaid”, I’m not trying to be ugly or speak ill of anyone, I’m just tired of women not getting the help and support they’re looking for.

My curiosity tends to cause a ruckus, in realizing that my incessant curiosity was so disruptive, I coined the term “curious disruptor”.

I ask a lot of questions, in wanting to understand and learn how things work ..

… when the “how things work” part doesn’t make sense, I’ve found that in most cases it’s not because I don’t understand, but because something isn’t adding up –

And that’s when I get on the cow’s nose about it, studying and diving into research until I prove or disprove it, or totally deconstruct it, keeping my tools handy to re-invent the wheel.

In my world, this is what we refer to as getting on the cow’s nose about something, getting “on something” and not letting go.

Picture a dog working a cow, and he gets on the cow’s nose.

Not letting it go until the cow get’s where the dog is telling her to go.

That’s what I do, I don’t let go.

When I was little, I had a book called The Way Things Work, I think, in a sense, it programmed me, in wanting to learn how things work, how they’re put together and how to take them apart.

I finally learned to embrace it rather than be shameful of it, shameful of asking questions to learn and understand.

I’m not a fan of gas lighting or manipulation, so when I get the “koolaid” vibe – I go after it.

I’ve always been an enigma, a contradiction, puzzling, mysterious and very difficult for others to understand.

I have a very peculiar mind, which I used to believe was a be a blessing, but also at times, a curse.

Now I see it as my super-power, my imagination, my and for my ability to dream beyond what most people consider to be reality.

My reality is beyond “realistic”, it’s beyond “normal”.

Looking back now, I believe the “strange experiences” started when I was little. I didn’t understand why I not only saw things differently, but experienced things differently. It wasn’t until I began to study dimensions of consciousness and the quantum field.

When I started down that line of study, things got pretty wild – in every dimension.

I used to believe that all of my peculiarity and tendency toward opposites was because I’m a Gemini.

I know now that, it’s just because I’m me.

I’m thankful for being unique … for my peculiar mind and sometimes opposite tendencies.

I’m thankful for my abstract pov, which allows me to think – and believe – beyond the world’s constructs.

I’ve never wanted to be normal, and don’t think I’ve ever been considered by others to be normal.

Growing up with my peculiar mind was very difficult. I saw things differently, I understood things differently – it was like I was seeing something totally different, maybe even “more” than what everyone else was seeing.

Most people didn’t understand me, but how could they, at the time, I didn’t even understand me.

The not normal, and never boring, embracing my peculiar mind and very different way of being.

I’ve always been an enigma, a contradiction, puzzling, mysterious and very difficult for others to understand.

I have a very peculiar mind, which I used to believe was a be a blessing, but also at times, a curse.

Now I see it as my super-power, my imagination, my and for my ability to dream beyond what most people consider to be reality.

My reality is beyond “realistic”, it’s beyond “normal”.

When I started down that line of study, things got pretty wild – in every dimension.

I used to believe that all of my peculiarity and tendency toward opposites was because I’m a Gemini.

I know now that, it’s just because I’m me.

I’m thankful for being unique … for my peculiar mind and sometimes opposite tendencies.

I’m thankful for my abstract pov, which allows me to think – and believe – beyond the world’s constructs.

I’ve never wanted to be normal, and don’t think I’ve ever been considered by others to be normal.

Most people didn’t understand me, but how could they, at the time, I didn’t even understand me.

The not normal, and never boring, embracing my peculiar mind and very different way of being.

I chose this picture because it’s very imperfect, it’s real, and that’s what makes it beautiful.

It’s not polished or posed and there’s nothing fancy set up as a background, it’s me being bombarded by goats because I made the mistake of opening some Christmas pretzels while they were in the vicinity .

I grew up believing that I had to be perfect – that I had to look perfect …

I believed that leaving the house without full face and hair was just not something a girl should do.

Growing up all I wanted was to “fit in”, but I never did.

Ever.

I believed that my body, and the platinum blondness of my hair, defined my value, and that I had to validated by men.

All of which were symptoms of a much bigger issue that I learned more about after the epic trainwreck.

I got to the point where I was holding myself together on the outside with “duct tape and superglue”, just so I would look “ok” to everyone else.

When everything fell apart, I learned the root of my symptoms.

The need for validation.
Value being determined by my appearance.
The constant striving for perfection.
Feeling as if I’d been playing roles cast by others for my entire life.

I remember growing up, if I was wrong about something or made a mistake trying to help him, he’d pat me on the head and say, “It’s ok princess.

It made me feel so stupid, and I grew to detest any reference to “princess”, hence the anti-princess.

When I started studying identity and really diving into my research, I recognized that I was not the only woman dealing with this and I decided that I was going to do something to help them.

To help them challenge everything the world tells us about who we’re supposed to be, about perfection and beauty.

I know I must sound like a broken record at this point, but when my tower crumbled and I was set free, there was no more chasing perfection, just learning to love and accept me for me, after I figured out who that was.